


Grey

by TooManyCommas



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: F/F, M/M, Male OC - Freeform, Multi, THE TITLE SOUNDS REALLY DEEP BUT ITS ACTUALLY SOMETHING REALLY DUMB YOULL FIND OUT LATER, They Are In A Different Universe And Their Opinions And Attitudes Are Going To Change, Trans Jared, alana and jared are bffs, and there cant be a milk emoji next to sip sip gone, bc i might need to, can i add tags, connors a cheerleader, dont use emojis you cretin, evan and connor start out as like the pre-established power couple, evan and zoe dated in junior high but they broke up bc they were better as friends so, evan plays football, everyone is dumb and oblivious, gonna admit at times they might seem a little out of character but heres the thing, i know adding ocs for drama is overplayed but this is highschool and i need some Delicious Drama, i really hope i can, im not very good at writing so dont bop in expecting the best fic of your LIFE, jared and alana are both in marching band, jared has to spell out blease then i guess, just so yall arent surprised when it gets to that point lmao, oh yeah and, sincerely three later on, student athlete au, thats what an au is fam, the boys are dumb we dont know what theyre doing, the ocs name is leo and hes just the drum major and hes only there for drama, this is my first fic im posting so i dont know how anything works here, this is outrageous, yo uh reminder to my future self: emojis dont fuckin work so, zoe and evan are bffs too, zoe is a track and softball star, zoe pines after alana first
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-11-23 18:56:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11408526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooManyCommas/pseuds/TooManyCommas
Summary: An AU in which Evan attempts to get a college scholarship through football.An AU where when the Murphy siblings were little, Connor played baseball and Zoe did cheer. Then in middle school, they switched.An AU that gives Alana and Jared both a P.E. exemption and a newly found passion of pop songs made pep band songs.A Student Athlete AU!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> as you may have read in the tags, this is my first fic im ever posting online so critique is appreciated (on the writing, not the headcanons for the characters)!!  
> the beginning is slow and all of this is gonna be a little slow at first but i promise i have a lot of good ideas i just suck.  
> lets dive in!
> 
> the first chapter is alana-centric!

Much to Alana’s distaste, her AP Chemistry class had an even number of students. An odd number of desks taken in a highschool classroom meant one of two things. One, there will be a group of three for partner assignments in which Alana will be the last one to be picked on the kickball field, forced into one team that couldn’t be more displeased with having the weakest yet educationally strongest link. Two, it means that the teacher will allow Alana to work by herself when partner projects arise, leading Alana to an easy, non-stressful A on the assignment with no further social interaction. Not in this particular class. They were seated at tables of two.

There are no sanctuaries in science labs. Despite the teenage hormonal-driven tension begging to slice the table in half, partners are seated directly next to each other and are forced to share the same table space.

The assigned seats were set up in alphabetical order at first, but the teacher liked to mix things up often. Too often.

It drove Alana nuts when she would speed-walk to class and get there first just to be told by the teacher to “not get too comfortable” because they would be switching up the seating chart yet again.

 

That’s exactly what happened that Wednesday morning. Maybe it was the fact that Alana couldn’t exactly figure out when they would be switching up seats. There was no schedule, set day of the week, or even after a certain amount of projects. It took a heavy toll on Alana’s OCD.

She walked into the classroom and went to set down her Everything Binder (for someone so organized, she has one big binder she uses for all of her classes so she can carry her work in arms and her books in her bag) but the teacher had other ideas.

 

“Now, don’t get  _ too _  comfortable, Alana!” the teacher cooed in a sickeningly sweet tone.

 

Alana hadn’t even taken a seat yet and she supposed she wasn’t going to until everyone got into the room. She picked her binder back up and stood against the wall. A perk of having her everything binder in her arms at all times was that she could take out her phone behind it and her peers are none the wiser. She checks for messages.

 

**_[5 unread messages from Sip Sip GONE]_ **

 

**_From Sip Sip GONE_ ** **_: alana_ **

**_From Sip Sip GONE_ ** **_: this is urgent_ **

**_From Sip Sip GONE_ ** **_: what was the song from sophomore year we did for the halftime show_ **

**_From Sip Sip GONE_ ** **_: you know the one where someone almost trampled that 1 sousaphone player_ **

**_From Sip Sip GONE_ ** **_: blease i cant remember and its eating me ALIVE_ **

 

Alana glanced up as a few people started to file into the room. She stole a quick glance at the teacher before typing a reply.

 

**_To_ ** **_Sip Sip GONE_ ** **_: I Want You Back!!!_ **

**_To_ ** **_Sip Sip GONE_ ** **_: by The Jackson 5 B)_ **

 

**_From_ ** **_Sip Sip GONE_ ** **_: youre an angel_ **

**_From_ ** **_Sip Sip GONE_ ** **_: also while ive got u do u wanna go to dq after mb practice tonight_ **

**_From_ ** **_Sip Sip GONE_ ** **_: i could rly go for a blizzard fam_ **

 

**_To_ ** **_Sip Sip GONE_ ** **_: I’m going to need a blizzard after today. we’re switching seats in AP Chem. AGAIN. :(_ **

 

**_From Sip Sip GONE_ ** **_: christ on lacrosse_ **

**_From_ ** **_Sip Sip GONE_ ** **_: ill take that as a hell yea_ **

**_From_ ** **_Sip Sip GONE_ ** **_: i gtg ill see u at lunch tho_ **

 

**_To_ ** **_Sip Sip GONE_ ** **_: bye Jared!_ **

 

Only a few moments passed after Alana locked her phone and slid it in her pocket until the bell rang. By this point, the room had gotten louder from all of the chatter amongst students, all of which still standing. The teacher silenced the room to as quiet as a room of teenagers expecting change could get and started assigning seats.

Alana anticipated being seated as she heard all too familiar names ring through the room and sit on the silence until the next name was called. Most of the names she recalled very well from middle school. The golden years where there were cliques but nothing that tore friendships apart. It was totally acceptable to walk up to someone and ask for their name without seeming weird or creepy. If anyone walked up to a stranger now, it would be tense unless both of those people are desperate for someone to talk to. And even then it’s still hard to even get up and walk over to someone who you don’t know. You don’t know what they’ll say, how they’ll react.

 

It was best to stay in your own bubble and with the people in that same bubble.

 

“Alana and Zoe,” the teacher announced, pointing to one of the tables towards the middle of the room.

 

Sometimes those bubbles are popped.

 

Alana didn’t have time to dwell on the name just yet. She claimed one of the two desks by setting down her Everything Binder on it. After that, she took her bag off, set it on the floor, then took a seat.

This tabletop had seen better days. Curse words and scratches were etched into the desktop, deep enough to notice but too shallow to warrant a new table. She ran a finger over one of the scratches as she saw Zoe sitting down next to her out of the corner of her eye.

 

Alana hadn’t said a word to Zoe Murphy in  _ years. _

 

Okay, that wasn’t entirely true. Zoe asked to borrow a highlighter last month when she forgot her own, but even then Alana only said, “Sure.” She never got that highlighter back. At least she saw Zoe still using it occasionally so she knew it was being put to good use.

 

Other than that, the only other things spoken between each other were with body language. Awkward eye contact in the hallway that they would both dismiss moments later. Accidentally bumping into one another and letting empty apologies stumble out of their mouths when they should be saying sorry for almost ignoring each other for all these years.

 

Now they were partners for who knows how many projects.

 

They both stayed relatively stagnant until the teacher ushered the last two kids to their new seats and started speaking about the first assignment they would be tackling. As the teacher handed out rubrics of the lab they would be accomplishing, she gave a general summary on what she wanted to see when they documented the data. When Alana got the packet for the table, she was fast to grab it first. The lab was simple. Weigh sea salt, mix the salt into water until it dissolves, burn the water out and weigh the salt again. It wasn’t as much of a lab to figure anything out, but just a general, very simple lab to start out with the new partners to see where their strong suits are. It was usually a lab one would find in a regular chemistry class but Alana wasn’t complaining.

The teacher explained that they would start the lab tomorrow but that they should write down the purpose of the lab, a hypothesis, and the materials they’ll be using. Standard procedure.

Alana took out her notebook and started off by writing her name at the top. Once they were told to start working, small conversations bubbled up to the surface of the room while Zoe and Alana said nothing for a good couple of minutes while they wrote down the purpose.

Their hypotheses had to be either the same or opposites which required them to have to actually communicate verbally. Fantastic.

Any words Alana wanted to say were stopped at the back of her throat as she just stared down and compared her handwriting to Zoe’s. Alana had very quick handwriting that was legible enough. Zoe’s was neat and cursive which made perfect sense. Zoe seemed neat and pretty to Alana.

 

“Uh,” Zoe’s voice sliced the silence, “we’ll probably lose some of the salt in the transfer after we burn the water out so my guess is that we’ll end up with less salt than we start with?”

 

 

The rest of the hour was like that. Awkwardly stammering out suggestions, both being too nervous to add anything more to what the other said, then just writing it down. Alana had never been more relieved to hear a bell ring in her entire life.

 

She shoved everything that belonged to her back into her binder, grabbed her bag, stood up, and started walking out. She could have swore she heard Zoe say goodbye, but was way too anxious to turn around and say the same thing in fear that she had heard her wrong.

 

\---

 

“Jared, you will never  _ believe _  who my science partner is!” Alana exclaimed as she set down her lunch on the table. Jared didn’t look up from his phone that sat in his lap so a teacher or dean wouldn’t take it away.

 

“Is it… Clint McBride?” Jared asked, popping a room temperature tater tot into his mouth after practically drowning it in ketchup.

 

“What? No, it’s Zoe Murphy. From middle school.” Alana explained as she unrolled the top of the paper bag she carried to the table with her.

Alana had been packing her own lunch since elementary school. She knew what she could and couldn’t have, but she also knew what she liked and didn’t like from what she could have. Her parents never had an issue with it. In fact, her dad will grab a paper bag every morning before heading to work and will write her name in pretty cursive so Alana is always aware that her dad is there and cares for her, even if she wants to take the step of independency of making her own meals.

Something she was never going to stop packing was a bag of Bugles. As she opened the corn snack, Jared looked up and leaned over, putting out a cupped hand as if asking for the usual five Alana would always give him. As a payment, he replied to her statement.

 

“Zoe Murphy? Star of the track team Zoe Murphy? Dated Evan Hansen in junior high? Before Evan started dating her brother that is,” Jared snickered as Alana poured five corn chips into Jared’s hand. “That must be awkward since you guys haven’t spoken to each other in forever. Knowing your teacher though, she won’t be your partner for long.”

 

“Yeah, that’s who I’m talking about. And I know the teacher’s like that, but she gave us a super easy lab to warm us up to the new partners? So I think we might be with these people for more than just a few projects.” Alana wasn’t very excited to spend an hour every day with Zoe. It wasn’t like she didn’t like her or anything, she was just intimidated. “Zoe is really nice and all but the entire period was just awkward. Like every memory we shared is still there between the both of us but none of us wanted to share it in the current moment.”

 

She realized how much she had been talking, even if it wasn’t that much, before remembering the ways on how she can keep a stable friendship. Listen to them too. She piped up finally.

“How has your day been going, Jared?”

 

“My day?” Jared inquired, putting the five corn chips on each one of this fingers so they looked like pointy finger extensions. “It’s been fine. Just dreading math for reasons you know the answer to.”

 

“You’ll have to keep me up to date on that,” Alana smiled and huffed a sigh of sympathy for Jared.

 

“Definitely. Y’know, everyone talks Connor up to be so dark and profound because he never talks and he’s the definition of hot, mysterious, and unattainable. But if you sat next to him in math class? You would know he’s dumb as a fucking doorknob! Exhibit A: we got our quizzes back yesterday, and he got the same grade as me - because he cheated - and the quiz was out of one hundred points, right? Well, kudos that he knows you get your grade percentage if you divide what you got by how many you could have gotten. But it was out of  _ one hundred. _  The number on the top  _ is  _ your percentage score. Yet even after I pointed it out like, ‘Connor, it’s out of one hundred,’ and he goes ‘yeah, so?’ Like I’m the one at fault here! Then I just didn’t say anything, hoping he would catch his mistake? No. Went all the way through with it and said nothing after that.”

Jared took a very disgruntled drink of his soda as Alana broke into a fit of laughter.

 

The rest of lunch became the both of them sharing stories about dumb people in their classes, rude people, the like. When the bell finally rang, Jared grabbed his bag and stood up, grabbing his empty tray.

“I’ll see you at practice tonight,” he gave a small grin and walked off to toss the garbage and start towards his next class.

 

Alana followed suit by throwing away her trash and starting to speed walk to her study hall.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for the comments and the kudos !! :-O i'll try to keep this up!  
> this chapter is short and ehh quality but i promise things will get better its just,, a slow start bluhhhhgh
> 
> have a zoe-centric character!! next chapter will be evan-centric so Buckle In

The last time Zoe had thought this hard about Alana was junior high.

It was at eighth grade graduation where the parents and students sat in the crowded gym a couple of days before summer break. The room was stuffy and hot, also stuffed with an excited sea of thirteen and fourteen year old kids just waiting for their name to be called so they can leave. Most of the parents and siblings - including Zoe who was only in 7th - that were dragged there were either rolling their eyes at the need for a graduation from  _ junior  _ high, while the other portion of the families were as starry eyed as their kids. Was it because they didn’t think their child would get this far? They were excited to see them move on to bigger and brighter things? Or were they just really extra?

Most likely the last one.

Zoe couldn’t give very many details other than the color of her dress and the color of Alana’s dress shirt. Zoe was in yellow and Alana was in purple. She could remember how Alana approached her after the ceremony and pointed out how they were wearing complementary colors and that her dad wanted a picture of them for his scrapbook. That was the last memory Zoe had of being close to Alana.

Then Alana moved onto high school and left Zoe to face 8th grade all by herself. It wasn’t Alana’s fault, but it still was a pretty low year.

When Zoe went into freshman year, Alana was already preoccupied with making sure her dreams and goals were in order. Luckily, Zoe had her own dreams and goals. The worst part about it was that Zoe had a future in sports, not book smarts. And so, they branched off down different paths and never really spoke to one another after that.

 

Now that Alana was her science partner, she was starting to regret not getting back in touch with her. Everything about her came rushing back. Her nervous smile, her rambling, how she repeated things, how she would look up to make eye contact and then look back down when the person she was looking at tried to reciprocate. It reminded her of when she first met her, which was sweet and nostalgic.

 

It was also heartbreaking to see that they were back to stage one.

 

Just like back in junior high, Zoe couldn’t get Alana out of her head. Sure, she had seen her in the hallways a few times, but she hadn’t actually  _ talked  _ to her in forever. Now that Alana's voice was fresh in her mind, how was she supposed to just let it fade away again?

  
  


The moment Zoe got home and shut the door behind her, she let out a loud sigh. Taking a few more steps into her home, she could look to her left and see her brother’s boyfriend sitting on the living room couch. His phone is his hands to keep them from fidgeting. His right leg was bouncing and that gave him away. She figured Evan was here because his mom wasn’t home or he forgot Connor had cheer practice.

 

“Evan, what are you doing here?” Zoe asked, grabbing his attention. 

Evan was probably one of Zoe’s best friends. They had dated in junior high, but it didn’t feel right. When they would hang out, they felt forced to hold hands. From knowing each other as friends since elementary school, it felt weird diving into a relationship just because everyone around them thought they would be a power couple. They sat down one day and had a mutual break up. They wanted to break up the same exact day. Of course, Zoe was the one that said it first, but Evan looked so relieved when she said it and he didn’t have to. They went back to being friends and Evan moved on to dating her brother. She didn’t have a problem with it, but watching her brother kiss people was gross just because it was her brother. She was so close to Evan that watching Evan kiss people became gross too.  

 

“I was… I was bored and just came over here. Your mom let me in,” Evan assured as he leaned back into the couch. 

 

“Oh, alright. Did you wanna go for a walk or something? Maybe walk down to the school and run the track?” Zoe loved having friends who were equally as active as she was. Zoe found comfort in running and loved when people joined her. It was like being alone but with someone else there. Alone together.

 

“Sure, if you want. Isn’t the band on the field right now though?” Evan asked as he stood up. 

 

“They don’t stop people from running the track while they practice. Their practices aren’t closed off or anything.” Zoe had run the track many times while the band was out on the field. It was cool to hear drills being called and songs being played. They had two shows from what she could gather; the pregame show and the show they took to competitions. She had no idea marching band was competitive until she started jogging while they practiced. 

 

“Seriously? Okay, uh, let me change into basketball shorts or something,” Evan reached over to the side of the couch that his backpack and duffel bag were on the floor. 

 

“Take your time! I need to go change too. I’m not running in jeans.” Zoe turned and walked upstairs towards her room.

 

While changing into shorts and a tank top, she noticed she still had pictures of her and Alana up on her wall. She never really stopped to pay attention. Even if she did, she didn’t dwell on them as heavily as she was now. As she pulled her hair back into a ponytail, she walked up to one of her and Alana from years ago. It was a pool party by the looks of it. It was both Alana and Zoe in the floating tubes in the pool. Trying to look cool even though they were both young and had nothing to worry about. No stress. Just each other.

 

Zoe caught herself staring when a knock on her door brought her back to reality. She grabbed her phone and slid it in her bra (oh come on, it would fall right out of her pocket) before turning and leaving her room.

 

\---

  
  
  


“You two will never guess who my new partner is in science class,” Zoe started, looking at Evan. They had been talking about sports and then classes, so bringing this up wasn’t far out of left field. Speaking of fields, they were in eyesight of the football field and in earshot of the music the marching band was playing on and off.

 

“I’m not all too great at guessing,” Evan admitted. It was pretty obvious he was nervous about getting the wrong answer and suffering from the embarrassment, but Evan had been putting forward a lot of effort to hide how anxious he was all the time. Zoe saw right through it. She’s always been able to.

 

“I’ll spare you the brainpower,” Zoe teased, “It’s Alana Beck.”

 

“From middle school?” Evan asked, his eyes going wide.

 

“Yeah, and junior high.”

 

“Oh, right. Didn’t you have a thing for her?”

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing, nothing. Nevermind, just ignore me!” Evan shook his head, his posture hunching over slightly as if hiding away from chagrin.

 

“No! I get it! I was kinda obsessed with her seventh grade.”

 

“Really? Wait, that’s when we dated!”

 

“Oh you’re really one to talk! The moment we broke up you said, ‘I’ve had a thing for your brother for years anyway,’” Zoe grinned, trying her best not to laugh. She elbowed Evan in the arm as he let himself laugh out the regret.

 

“Shut up!” He snickered out, hugging himself and still hunching. It took a few moments for him to realize what he was doing before he corrected himself.

 

They continued small talk until they got up to the stadium and walked in through the gate. Evan looked up at the band, looking out at the sea of sweating kids with instruments, some talking and some paying attention to the director. 

 

Zoe nudged Evan to follow her over to the track. It didn’t take long for them to both find a good pace to jog at before they started talking again. There were a few times Zoe caught herself glancing over at the field and trying to pick out Alana and just watch her. It was creepy as hell when Zoe found herself doing it, but she would always end up doing it again.

 

Alana just looked really cute in the baggy basketball shorts she was wearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! i'll try to update tomorrow! i was going to update back to back but i've gotten distracted a million times so i'll just post ch 3 either tomorrow or the day after!   
> if u wanna talk, mosey on over to my tumblr! user in jaredsmallman


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long to come out and its not even that gREAT,, im more of a jared-centric and alana-centric writer so writing for these other goons is taking a toll on lil ol me  
> but ! i dont want to disappoint  
> i hope the characterization isnt too bad in this chapter, but its evan-centric!   
> feel free to leave critique in the comments! :-D

Jared looked really cute in the over-sized NASA shirt he was wearing.

 

Not that Evan was really looking or anything. It was just an observation he felt guilty making. It wasn’t like… thoughts of cheating if that made sense. He would never cheat on Connor in his life. He was lucky as hell to have Connor in the first place, he would never risk that. And it wasn’t like Connor wasn’t enough or anything. He was more than enough. Evan would go as far as to say that he didn’t deserve Connor at all. He didn’t deserve Connor or Jared, and he wasn’t even dating Jared.

 

Evan just couldn’t look at him without his heart melting the same way it did when he looked at Connor.

 

He had no reason to even feel like that though! Evan hadn’t talked to Jared in a while. They shared one class and that was science. They weren’t even lab partners, they were just both existing in the same room for an hour every week day without exchanging any words. That was it. But Evan knew Jared back in middle school when he was put in the same class as him in 5th grade. He hadn’t met Jared before that, but Connor knew him. He told Evan that Jared’s parents were close with his own, so he had known Jared since elementary school even though he went to a different one.

 

Evan and Jared became fast friends, causing their parents to become fast friends as well. To this day, Jared’s mom and Evan’s mom were really close, but that didn’t mean Evan and Jared were. They considered themselves “family friends” because their families knew each other but at this point, they barely did.

 

Jared had changed so much and Evan could easily admit that he wasn’t the same anxious 5th grader he was six years ago.

 

The biggest problem is that Evan never talked to him and any attempts at talking to him are only responded to bitterly. Jared didn’t seem like he wanted to make amends with Connor or Evan. It didn’t stop them from talking to him though, despite the snappy remarks.

 

After four or maybe five laps of jogging, Zoe snapped Evan out of his train of thought and pointed up at the bleachers. “They just called to the band to go to their first set so they can run their whole show. Do you wanna go watch it? You never get to see it at games because you’re on the ground and distracted to see all the cool stuff they do.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Evan replied quickly as he slowed his pace. Once they reached the bleachers and climbed to the very top, Evan sat down and Zoe spoke while she sat beside him.

 

“Who’d you keep staring at?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. Evan could tell she was probably being a little protective of her brother, even though it was rather obvious Evan couldn’t pull a stunt like cheating even if he tried. This just made him feel more guilty that he was so obviously looking at someone else when nobody else should be on his mind.

 

Evan leaned back against the seat behind him. “What? No, I wasn’t staring at anybody.”

 

“Come on, Evan, you can tell-”

 

“Hey, they’re starting. Shh.” Evan cut Zoe off and became immediately invested in the show. He could tell Zoe rolled her eyes but she didn’t say anything else. He was free for now.

 

Evan would like to say that he was watching Jared the entire time, but it was hard to keep track of him and actually watch the show at the same time. It was even harder to watch the show when his mind wouldn’t drift from the internal conflict of why he liked two people at once.

 

_ You don’t deserve Connor if you’re going to think about someone else. You don’t deserve anyone else either if you’re gonna think about Connor. Who do you think you are? You really think you’re worthy of loving two people and making them love you back? You don’t even deserve one person to love you back. _

 

“Whoa, did you see that?” Zoe asked, nudging Evan’s arm. Thank goodness she did too. He was falling into a spiral he didn’t know he would have been able to walk away from.

 

“No, I was uh, staring at the guy on the podium,” Evan lied before looking out at the field. He could feel Zoe staring at him for a few seconds before following his gaze. He made it a goal to pay attention to the show and not to let his mind fall back down that rabbit hole again.

 

The show was like, ten minutes long. A lot longer than Evan thought it was. He would have liked to say he was impressed, but he really couldn’t make much judgement when everything went completely over his head. 

 

“I think cheer practice is ending in a few minutes. Do you wanna go meet Connor in the parking lot by his car?” Zoe asked as she stood up. Evan couldn’t exactly tell if she had picked up on how the setting they were in was making him anxious, or if she was just bored of sitting around.

 

“Sure,” Evan stood and started walking down the steps of the stands, glancing up to see what the band was doing. It looked like they were taking a water break. They were all walking to the side of the field and either sitting or standing. With or without water, they were all talking in small cliques. This actually made Evan hesitate for a second. He didn’t realize that band kids had cliques. He thought they were just all on the same tier of the bullshit hierarchy of high school. Shouldn’t they all be getting along? Well, he didn’t always get along with everyone on his “tier” either, so it made enough sense for him to shrug off for the time being.

 

While his mind wandered off into that mental ramble, he focused back on what he was actually looking at. Ironically, he was staring directly at the person he couldn’t seem to peel his eyes off of all night.

 

The worst part of it was that the other was staring right back.

 

Evan would have been relieved if it was a friendly look, or even a look of adoration, but no. It was a look of why-the-fuck-is-this-guy-staring-at-me. He surprised himself when he looked away as if nothing had happened. He didn’t think he could pull his eyes away and not look like an embarrassed fucking mess.

 

_ Who are you fooling? He knew you were staring and he can tell you have a thing for him. Admit it, you have a thing for him when you don’t deserve him. _

 

“Evan,” Zoe grabbed his arm as she kept walking off the bleachers and towards the parking lot, “are you sure you’re alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He asked defensively, which only raised Zoe’s suspicions more. 

 

“Because you’re acting all weird. You keep staring off into space like you’re about to break down or something and whenever I pull you back out, you just go right back in. You keep giving me short answers whenever I try to spark conversation which only happens when you’re either about to break down or you’re concentrating. What on Earth are you thinking about?” 

 

It was pretty obvious that Zoe knew about Evan’s anxiety. He had gotten pretty good at hiding it from the people he didn’t see a lot every day. His boyfriend knew and his best friend knew, but those were the only two people around his age that had any idea. Everyone looked at Evan as the guy who had his life together. He was a football star and would probably be getting a scholarship to some amazing school, he had an amazing boyfriend who was equally as attractive and popular, and he had great grades in most of his classes. 

People didn’t realize that he’s only playing for a scholarship that he wouldn’t be able to afford otherwise, his mom has only been able to make two of his games out of all of his high school career, and he was suffering from both anxiety and depression in which his only outlet he’s allowed is one that he can’t seem to enjoy without more anxiety blanketing over it. He plays football to get anxiety out, but messing up gives him more anxiety that he won’t achieve his dreams of getting a scholarship.

 

Not to mention the fact that he didn’t deserve anything he had or anything that he wanted.

 

“I honestly don’t know. I’ve just been getting distracted I guess?” Evan shrugged, focusing on the parking lot and straightening his posture. 

 

“By what?” Zoe pressed. 

 

“The game in a couple of days. You know how I get before big games. This one is the one before my really big game next week. I need to make sure I keep the grind going.”

 

As they approached the parking lot and found Connor’s car, they saw a few people already walking out of the school. Cheer practice had apparently been let out but Connor still wasn’t out yet. Evan leaned against the car and sparked up conversation with Zoe to not only get her off his back about what was bothering him, but also to distract himself until Connor came out.

 

A few minutes passed before Connor walked out into the parking lot. He looked like something had pissed him off and that’s why he was out so late, but upon seeing Evan, he looked slightly less upset. Evan knew he wasn’t going to magically fix Connor’s emotions that not even Connor seemed to be able to identify or control, but Evan knew for fact that he could always count on him to brighten his mood.

 

The moment he and Connor locked eyes, every one of Evan’s negative thoughts and fears just melted away. Just for a moment, it was just him and Connor. Connor’s eyes, his hair, his lips, his cheeks, his jaw, his  _ everything.  _ The way his eyes smiled brighter than his lips smiled. The happiness behind clouds that Evan could dig up if he could stare long enough. Every crease his face made when he did smile were burned into Evan’s memory. His face and his body was like an entire new world. He could take a picture like it’s a map, but there are things you can’t see on a map. Evan found something new to love about Connor everyday. He could go on and on for hours about how lucky he was to have Connor. How he would trade the world for him. His  _ life _ for him. He knew for a fact that he would never have any idea how much Evan loved him.

 

“What the hell are you two doing here?” Connor asked as he approached, the vexation he had been showing earlier not showing in his voice.

 

“We were out running the track and decided to come by and greet you after practice,” Evan explained while he snaked an arm around Connor’s waist and pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

 

“Also hoping you’d give us a ride home since we walked here,” Zoe teased as she pulled at the locked back door. Connor rolled his eyes and pulled his keys out of his messenger bag. He unlocked the door and Zoe immediately climbed in.

 

“Isn’t the marching band practicing on the field?” Connor asked Evan before sneaking a quick kiss on the lips then climbing into the driver's seat. Evan walked over to the passengers side and slid in. “They still let people run the track. If they want.”

 

Evan could feel himself inching closer to thinking about Jared again. If he thought too much about band then those thoughts would immediately drift to Jared. No more thinking about band or anyone who knows Jared.

 

“Connor, holy shit, you would never believe who my lab partner is,” Zoe started.

 

God dammit.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating in over a week! to make up for it, two chapters in one day!!   
> this one is connor-centric and my first time writing for connor so bare with me

It seemed like Evan saw the continuous lack of someone in his house to be normal. Connor saw it as the exact opposite of normal. It was a rare occasion to have anyone leave the house if he was there. He couldn’t remember a time when he was left home alone. 

 

His mom used to work and would hire a babysitter for him and his little sister, but she doesn’t work anymore. She doesn’t have to. She may be smart enough to have a job, but who has a job when they don’t need one? 

 

The only occasion in which his parents are both out of the house is when they go on a semi-annual vacation together with his dad’s vacation days. They’re only gone for a week and Zoe isn’t allowed to leave Connor alone. They all think it’s a secret, but Connor knows fully well that’s why Zoe is always asking to do something when their parents are gone. Whether it be bowling, watching a movie, going for a walk, just anything to get Connor to do something fun so he didn’t end up doing something stupid.

 

His parents are very odd people. His mother is always looking for something new to try to keep her mind moving and to keep herself sharp, but it only makes her crazier. His dad is job-oriented is and always doing something. Always busy. While his mom may be doing something, she is actually open to step away from whatever that was and help. Dad on the other hand is busy with work and the only times he can actually do anything is a hit or miss. Some of those things were scheduled though. Family meals, game nights, and dinner parties with other rich people in the neighborhood. Everything else is completely absorbed by his job. 

 

Both of his parents are image obsessed.

 

The fact that their son is a cheerleader and not their daughter? Slightly touchy. 

The fact that their son is close to failing a class and has mostly Cs? Touchy.

The fact that their son was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, anxiety, and depression a couple of years ago? Very touchy.

 

The Murphy family was supposed to be like the Brady Bunch. Perfect, walking in a straight line, and nothing but smiles. That was hard when one of the kids was totally fucked in the head as it seemed.

 

There were a lot of things behind closed doors. How Connor’s parents were walking the tight rope of a relationship where the smallest misstep would lead to divorce. How Connor was mentally ill. How Connor was openly gay and Zoe was closeted bisexual. 

 

Cynthia was the most supportive parent. She tried her very best to accept her kids as who they were. Connor came out sophomore year that he was gay. Larry said he was confused, Cynthia told him not to tell anyone until he graduates. It was ironic, considering just about everyone knew except Larry and Cynthia up until that point. He had told all of his friends to just keep it a secret from his parents. Since his parents didn’t want anyone else knowing, Connor just never told anyone that he came out to his parents. It was nice to know that everyone who needed to know already knew, but it still felt like his parents didn’t know.

 

They knew he was gay, but they want to understand that he was gay.

 

Larry would always retort with how Connor is questioning whenever the conversation surfaced, and Connor always tried to convince him that he was full aware of what he was. Connor knew for a fact that he was gay.

 

Like on Thursdays after football practice when Evan comes over to stay the night. He has his own clothes in Connor’s closet so he showers off all the sweat. After they eat dinner, they both go back to Connor’s room and cuddle up in bed. They either watch something on Youtube or they just talk. Sometimes they’re both way too tired to stay awake.

 

Thursday nights were enough reassurance that Connor was gay and he was in love with Evan Hansen.

 

Connor was pressed up against Evan’s side, his face resting in his neck. He could feel Evan’s hands gently combing through his hair. Connor could fall asleep like this, if it weren’t for Evan talking every once in awhile. He would say something small, like a compliment or an ‘I love you.’ Each phrase sounded more like Evan was trying to assure himself that he did love Connor and that he was lucky to have him. If Evan wasn’t going to speak up, his boyfriend was going to make him.

 

“What’s on your mind?” Connor asked, face still against his neck.

 

“You.” Evan sounded almost defensive. Like he wasn’t thinking about Connor but didn’t want him to know that.

 

“Are you sure? You can tell me what you’re thinking about.”

 

Evan took a deep breath and was quiet for a solid minute before finally replying.

“You know how when Zoe and I ran the track yesterday, the marching band was there?”

 

“Mhm. What about it?”

 

“I saw… uh… you remember Jared Kleinman, right?”

 

“How could I not?”

 

“R-Right… Well. I don’t know why- well I kinda know why- but I kept staring at him? I wouldn’t even realize I was doing it but I would catch myself staring at him and thinking about him- and also you-!”

 

“So you kept staring at Jared… Okay?”

 

“Yes, and… I don’t know. I think… I think I really like him?”

“... You what?”

 

“I’m pretty sure I really like Jared…”

 

Connor moved his head from Evan’s neck and scoffed. He could feel himself getting jealous and angry. He could feel his hands shaking and daring to clench into fists.

 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? Am I not good enough for you then?”

 

“Wh- No no no, Connor, let me expla-”

 

“Explain what? How you’d rather date some kid you haven’t talked to in years over me?”

 

“No, Connor, listen, look at me.” Evan grabbed Connor’s wrists and tugged him gently so he would look in Evan’s eyes. “I’m still desperately in love with you, okay? Please… understand that. I love you so much.”

 

Connor stared into Evan’s eyes, looking like a kicked puppy. Evan started to breathe in and out slowly in through his nose and out through his mouth. Connor followed his slow and steady breathing patterns, waiting for Evan to say something else.

 

“I like both of you at the same time. Equally. And I-I know I shouldn’t and it’s wrong and I shouldn’t think like that but I didn’t know how long I could go without telling you and-”

 

“Evan, slow down,” Connor gently cupped his hands on Evan’s face. “Let’s make a deal. If I end up catching feelings for the guy then we can maybe consider a poly thing?”

 

“A… poly-what?”

 

“You know, like polyamory?”

 

Evan stared blankly as if Connor had just grown another head.

 

The two of them cuddled once more as Connor explained the ins and outs of a healthy poly relationship, how it isn’t cheating, and how he would be more than open to the idea if he ended up liking Jared as well.

 

And that idea wasn’t so strange.

 

After a long talk that led them to 8:48, Evan sat up. “I know I really shouldn’t but I’m really craving ice cream.”

 

“We just ran out. Unless you’re desperate enough to put on a shirt and drive to Dairy Queen,” Connor snickered and sat up as well. 

 

“Do I have to put on a shirt?”

 

“They don’t have a drive thru. Are you going to make me get out of the car and get your stupid ice cream for you?”

 

“Pretty please?” 

 

Connor rolled his eyes and let out an over-dramatic and exasperated sigh before he sat up and grabbed his phone off the night stand. “Let me make myself at least a little presentable first.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jared-centric chapter!!!
> 
> i wrote pretty much all of this in a couple hours so if there are any typos please tell me aklasifjd,,

Alana and Jared have been inseparable for twelve years.

Since the day they met in kindergarten, they have been bound at the hip. If it weren't for Alana, Jared was certain he would have fallen into the wrong crowd. He would have never found music if it weren't for her. He would be in the same group of friends he met at camp in middle school that bullied people and pushed them around.

 

Jared knew for a fact that if he had picked his camp friends over Alana, he wouldn't have been this happy.

 

Alana pulled him into music camp where they went very summer since 5th grade when they both joined their school band as flute and clarinet. If Jared hadn't found this outlet, he didn't know where he would be.

  
  


Alana was the only person Jared could trust with anything he had to say. Even if she could be a loud mouth at times, she knew when to really keep a secret. If Jared grabbed her wrists and looked her dead in the eyes and made her promise to never tell, he knew she wouldn't. He would do the same for her. They've done this for each other multiple times.

 

Jared and Alana had many sleepovers starting in elementary school. As the years flew by, they had shared everything. Beds, even clothes, trust, secrets, laughter, tears, moments, memories, friendship. 

 

They never felt the pressure of getting together, and Alana came out as a lesbian to only Jared in middle school. It was a pleasant memory when they were both sitting in Alana's bed and talking about school, parents, just life. Until Alana grabs Jared's glasses off and takes off her own, handing over her glasses as she out Jared's on. 

 

Jared froze as he slid on Alana's glasses and blinked to adjust. "What's wrong? What do you need to tell me?"

Whenever Jared or Alana needed to tell a secret, they would swap glasses as a promise to not tell anyone. It was an elaborate idea Alana had when she learned that when your ability to see is descreased, your ability to listen is increased. People don't repeat secrets, so you really have to listen.

 

"You have to promise not to tell," Alana threatened.

"I won't, I promise!" Jared swore.

"Great. Well," she started, looking down at her crossed legs and messing with the hem of her tee shirt. She would open her mouth to speak then close it again. To Jared, she looked like a fish out of water.

 

"Hey! Uh... would it make you feel better if I told you a secret first and then you can tell me yours?" Jared offered. Alana looked up again to meet Jareds blurry gaze. She nodded and moved some hair out of her face.

 

"Okay," he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He felt his suddenly sweaty forehead before wiping his hands on his shorts. "You know how my class has a class pet? A frog? Well, last week, I got to take it home over the weekend. My cousin came over the same weekend and we were in my room for a while and after I left, the frog was gone. Alana, my cousin stole the fucking frog from my room and I had to buy a new frog so nobody would notice."

 

"What?!" Alana's eyes went wide and she grinned from ear to ear. "He stole the frog? How can you tell he stole it and you didn't lose it?"

 

"Because he was talking about the frog all night and asked if he could have it. I said no, so I guess he stole it?" Jared laughed, glad he got Alana out of such an anxious state. It was nice to hear her giggling.

 

After their laughter bubbled down, Alana took a deep breath and set her hands on her knees. “But frog thievery aside, my secret is a bit bigger than that. You really can’t tell anyone about this unless I tell you that you can.”

 

Jared nodded and pushed the glasses up on his nose. He waited patiently for Alana to speak, not wanting to force something out of her that she was already having trouble telling.

 

“I’m gay.”

 

Jared paused for a moment before grinning and snickering. “Yeah, no shit. I could tell.”

 

“You could… huh?”

 

“Alana, you are the dictionary definition of lesbian.”

 

Alana snorted and took the glasses off, handing them back to Jared. “I was really hoping that would be more sentimental? Like on a Bravo TV show or something.”

 

Jared took his glasses back and rolled his eyes, “Too bad I already knew you were incredibly homosexual.”

 

\---

 

Marching band practice Thursday nights were relentless and tiring as hell. They started at six and ended at nine. Jared always gave Alana a ride to and from practices, considering her ride hasn’t really fit for carrying her instrument. While he started walking towards the car with her, she looked over while Jared scrolled through his phone for missed messages.

 

“I know we went and got ice cream yesterday after practice, but do you think we could again?” Alana pleaded. She didn’t really need to beg, Jared was always one hundred percent on board when it came to going and getting ice cream. Especially after three hours of physical activity. 

 

“Hell yeah,” Jared grinned, earning a smile back from Alana. 

 

Once they got in the car, Alana grabbed the aux cord before she even buckled up. She plugged it into her phone and pulled up the playlist of songs they always shuffled during car rides. It was a three hour long playlist of popular music arranged into jazz or pep band scores. It was practically a better instrumental version. It would take a really bad for them to not only not play it, but to not sing along. 

 

They belted the entire way to Dairy Queen, neither of them trying hard to actually make their singing sound good. 

 

It was moments like these that Jared enjoyed the most. They weren’t doing anything dangerous or stupid, they were just driving down the street, singing along to the instrumental of Forget You by CeeLo Green, and just enjoying each other's presence. It was blissful.

 

Once Jared pulled up to the ice cream place, he turned the music down slightly and grabbed his wallet and phone.

 

“You want your usual?” Jared asked Alana as he opened the door to step outside. Once he earned a nod, he shut the door and walked over to the order window. There were only a few people standing around by the window where one picks their stuff up, so Jared ordered for himself and Alana then stood around and waited. 

 

It didn’t take him long after he stepped away from the window to recognize that one of the people also waiting was Connor Murphy.

 

Dammit.

 

Jared pulled out his phone and immediately started to pretend to check texts or do anything to avoid looking at the guy.

 

Jared has had a crush on Connor since 3rd grade and it was embarrassing as hell to still have the same crush eight fucking years later. 

 

As much shit as he gave Connor for not being the brightest when it came to math or for acting like he’s better than everyone else when he’s not, he really couldn’t help but find small, stupid things he does endearing as all hell.

 

He’ll ask for help in math class all the time since the two of them sit next to each other. Jared knows the teacher probably did it on purpose to give Connor a smart classmate to help him, but it was killing Jared every day. Sitting so close to the person he used to be closer to. The person who completely ignored him all of freshman year and almost all of sophomore year if it wasn’t for second semester English class. 

 

Jared caught himself glancing up at Connor before he snapped his gaze back down to his phone. He looked up when he heard someone’s order called.

 

Apparently Connor was the one to order right before Jared because everyone else who was waiting got their orders. Now it was just Connor and Jared standing there. In silence. 

 

It wasn’t even that long either. Maybe just a couple of minutes to wait. It felt like hours though.

 

“Large cookie dough,” the employee called, tipping the blizzard upside-down for a split second before just setting it on the counter and walking off to make the next.

 

Jared figured it had to have been his and took a step to go grab it, but noticed Connor do the same. They both stopped and looked at each other. 

 

“Go ahead,” Jared assured, taking a step back, “you were here first.”

 

Connor nodded and went to grab it. He didn’t walk away though.

 

“I thought you didn’t like cookie dough, so I just thought-”

 

“I don’t,” Connor interrupted, “but Evan does. He’s waiting in the car.”

 

Jared nodded and slid his phone in his back pocket. He hated how he had to watch his mouth around Connor now. Back when they were close friends thanks to family parties, Jared didn’t need to filter what he said. He could tease and joke with him. Now, Connor was popular and could probably destroy Jared’s life if he really wanted to. As much as he believed Connor would never do that, he wasn’t about to give him a reason to.

 

The employee called out Connor’s other order to break the awkward silence. Once Connor grabbed it, he started walking back towards his car. 

 

“See ya, cutie,” Connor hummed, leaving Jared baffled.

 

Jared stared after him, mouth agape.

 

“What?” Jared called, still way too in shock to believe that he heard Connor correctly.

 

Connor stopped and turned over his shoulder. “I just said see ya later.” 

 

Jared felt like such an idiot. “Oh! Yeah. See ya,” he waved and looked away to avoid further interaction.

 

He walked up to the window and grabbed the orders once they were called and scurried back to his car. He climbed in and shoved Alana’s ice cream into her hand, setting his own in the cup holder.

 

“Finally!” Alana beamed, leaning back in her seat. “You’ll never guess what song you just missed.”

 

“What?” He looked over, “what song?”

 

“The song you asked about yesterday! I Want You Back!”

 

How fitting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the football game is coming up :-O  
> also my tumblr is jaredsmallman is you ever want to come bully me there !


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back to alana centric!! so so so so sorry for not updating in a while! i was on vacation for something really important. i also have band camp this coming week so i am gonna try to get another chapter out before DYING for another week !!  
> thank you so much for all of the supportive comments!! and for being so patient and kind!! <33

“Are you free after school?”

 

Science class was starting to get better. Sure, it had only been two days ago when the new seats were assigned, but Alana was finally starting to warm back up to her lab partner. Zoe seemed to be warming up to her as well! They could actually hold a conversation without it being painfully awkward.

 

The teacher gave them homework for over the weekend to work on together. Alana would like to get it done before the weekend began if that was possible.

 

“Hm?” Zoe looked up from her work, her green eyes wide. She brushed her light brown hair out of her face while she comprehended what Alana had asked before shaking her head. “Oh uh, no. I have softball practice after school today. From three to five. I don’t have to go to the football game tonight if you wanna work during the game?”

 

“Can’t. The marching band has to attend the games,” Alana explained. “I’m not available Saturday either. Marching band competition from 9 am to 10 pm.”

 

“You guys have competitions?”

 

“Yeah, every Saturday! They usually run all day, but if we get into a later bracket then we don’t have to leave to get there right away. Considering our band is so small, we usually have to go on in the first group though.”

 

“That’s so cool! I didn’t know you guys did that. But yeah, I have a track meet tomorrow and a softball game a few hours after that. Are you busy on Sunday?”

 

“Nope! That’s my day off.”

 

“We can meet at my place then,” Zoe turned to make sure the teacher wasn’t looking before sliding out her phone and handing it to Alana. “Put your number into my phone.”

 

Alana stared at Zoe for a few seconds. Zoe was focusing down on her phone, but Alana couldn’t spare her gaze from her face. If Alana looked closely, she could spot freckles on the girl’s nose. Just barely sprinkling over the bridge like sprinkles on an iced cupcake. When Zoe looked up to meet her eyes as a way of making sure Alana was paying attention, she finally grabbed the phone. She took out her own phone and gave it to Zoe so she could do the same thing.

 

She quickly put her number in, putting her contact in as “Alana Beck” before giving the phone back. Zoe was taking a little longer than expected. After she put the name in she grinned a little.

 

“Who’s ‘sip sip gone?’” Zoe asked with a small snicker.

 

Alana grabbed her phone back. “My friend Jared.”

She looked down at how Zoe got to the S section of her contacts and noticed Zoe put herself in as “Science Genius Zoe Murphy.” 

 

Adorable.

 

“Jared Diachi?” Zoe asked, raising her eyebrows. “Like… the football player?”

 

“What? No no no, Jared Kleinman,” Alana assured as she slid her phone back into her pocket. “In marching band.”

 

“I know him! He would come over for barbeques sometimes, and he played keyboard when I was in jazz band back in junior high!” Zoe leaned her elbow on the table and hummed. 

 

Alana found herself staring at Zoe before she shook her head. “Why did you quit band anyway?”

 

“Too busy with sports. I think I’ll get further with softball than guitar in a jazz band. You didn't even have to be in band to be in the rhythm section! I was going nowhere with it.”

 

“Do you still play guitar?”

 

“Sometimes. I'm better at it now, that's for sure!” Zoe started chewing on the end of her pen nervously. 

 

After class, Zoe and Alana planned to meet on Sunday at the Murphy household. The time was still up in the air, but now they could text each other whenever they need to.

 

Alana could easily say she got a number from a cute girl today.

 

\---

 

Around the same time Zoe was getting out of softball practice was when Alana was walking up to the school from the parking lot, Jared by her side. They stopped at Dunkin Donuts after school to grab some coffee and start get some homework done before they had to head back to the school and get their uniforms on. They weren't allowed to take their uniforms home unless they weren't gonna make it back to the school or they have to get dressed at home and meet somewhere. For games that are on campus, they just keep the marching band outfits at school.

 

“But liquid sugar is stronger and just downright nasty as fuck,” Jared argued, still going on about their disagreement at Dunkin. 

 

“But when you get sugar packets it all collects at the bottom and then you accidentally drink a bunch of sugar all at once-"

 

“MMM!” Jared moaned dramatically. “The sugar clumped at the bottom is my  _ favorite _ part!”

 

Alana snickered and whacked Jared’s arm with the back of her hand. “You're disgusting, Jared.”

 

“Watch this,” Jared lifted up his drink and showed the bottom of the cup with a quarter of an inch filled with sugar. He then shoved the straw to the bottom of the cup and drank all of the sugar, earning another hit on the arm from Alana.

 

“Sip, sip,  _ GONE. _ ” Jared snorted, sending Alana into a cackling mess.

 

The inside joke was old and neither of them could tell anyone what the hell it meant. Alana loved it that way. 

 

Once the both of them stepped inside, the could already hear people running scales to warm themselves up along with loud chatter all coming from the band hallway. The band room was Alana’s personal oasis. On game days, it was always bustling with people grabbing their instrument, putting their uniform on, and trying to finish their dinner before they have to go out and sit in the bleachers for 4 hours. There were kids on drumline drumming on any available table they could find, people frantically asking for someone else's music to look off of quickly before they have to leave. As much as everyone in band was very clique-oriented, walking up to someone in your section and asking for something wasn't going to get you killed. It was a great dynamic to have. 

 

“I'm gonna go grab my uniform,” Jared nodded towards the uniform carts before walking away. Alana nodded and went to grab her instrument out of her instrument locker. She usually put her instrument together before putting her uniform on, considering it was a bass clarinet. And yeah. She marched with that.

 

Jared didn't have it as rough. In order to get back into the school, the band has to climb a hill to get to the doors after every game. Jared is always the loudest to complain, even though he's carrying the lightest instrument available: the flute. He has gotten one of the drum majors to carry him a few times before, but that was only because their drum major got a rush after games and needed to let out some energy. Running Jared up the hill would really tire someone out.

Jared and the drum major (Leo) were always really close, despite the fact that Leo was a year older. Jared’s freshman year, he called out a junior in the same section for being an asshole. Ironic, considering it definitely took one to know one in that situation. Alana remembered that very, very well. She couldn't EXACTLY remember what Jared said to the douche in the first place, but she remembered Leo coming up to the both of them (mainly Jared) and praising him for pulling such a bold move. Leo was both of their friend ever since.

 

“Yo, Alana!” Speak of the devil. Leo, already completely in uniform, approached Alana at her locker while she pulled out her case.

 

“Hey, Leo. Are we late?” Alana asked as she closed the locker. Leo grinned at her with fondness and shook his head. 

 

“Nah, you've still got twenty minutes to get ready and get outside. You'll be fine.” He gave Alana a pat on the back before starting to walk away.

 

“Hey, Leo? Before you go, can I ask you something really quick?”

 

“Sure, what's up?”

 

Alana felt partially bad for what she was about to ask of Leo. It was from the heart, but he may take it the wrong way. It wasn’t going to do any good if Alana said nothing at all though, so she prepped herself up before asking, “Do you have a date for homecoming?”

 

Leo furrowed his eyebrows and his brown eyes squinted slightly. “Alana, we’re both gay.”

 

“What? No, not for me! No no no, for Jared. Do you think you could ask Jared to homecoming?” Alana set her case down on a chair and flipped it open so she could start assembling her bass clarinet.

She noticed Leo’s cheeks turning red at the question. Alana knew Leo had a crush on Jared. It was way too easy to tell. But it was also way too easy to tell that Jared liked Connor Murphy. As someone who never really picked up on feelings people are going through, Alana was a pro at picking up on who liked who. It was a bit of a curse, considering she could tell Jared didn’t feel the same for Leo. However, pining after one person for years and years and never having a chance of getting together with them was unhealthy. Even if they did have a chance to get together, Jared needed some experience in the romance department. Going to his first school dance would be a great way to kick things off!

 

“Do you really think he would want to go with me?” Leo cracked his knuckles as a nervous habit, staring at Alana waiting for an answer desperately. 

 

“I think if you ask him well, he’ll say yes,” Alana assured as she set her clarinet on a seat. “Watch my clarinet while I put my uniform on?”

 

Leo nodded quickly, mumbling something about how he would watch it like a hawk. Alana walked off to go grab her uniform. After she took it down from one of the closets, she passed Jared on the way to the bathroom. She gave him a grin before walking into the girls bathroom as he started walking back towards the band room from the guys bathroom.

 

After getting changed and tucking her hair into her hat, she looked at herself in the mirror. 

 

She felt a tad guilty for setting Jared up like that, but she knew it was for his good! At least she hoped.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super super sorry for the lack of an update in so long! see updates and such in the end notes!  
> heres a zoe-centric chapter!

Softball practice was the best way to end a week. Being able to swing out all of her frustrations was Zoe’s favorite way to relieve stress (right behind running of course). She was able to just let her mind clear. Didn’t have to think or focus on anything. Just plant her feet down, bend her knees, keep her head in the box. The only thing she had on her mind was to keep her eye on the ball. 

 

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

 

_ THWACK! _

 

The ball soared into the back of the field, prompting Zoe to drop the bat away from homebase and book it towards first. Having the satisfaction of hitting it far enough out and being able to just run the bases with ease was the best part. 

 

Once she safely reached home base, the coach called everyone in to tell them about the game the next day. While everyone started to pack up, the coach made sure everyone knew what diamond to report to and at what time by doing a call and response.

 

“What diamond?”

 

“Two!”

 

“What time?”

 

“Four!”

 

Zoe picked up her phone and started scrolling through missed messages and calls while she took drinks from her water bottle. The first message she opened was from her mom in the family group chat.

 

**_[6 new messages from The Murphy Bunch]_ **

 

**_From Momther: Hey kids! Your grandma needs some extra help moving into her new retirement home this weekend. We won’t be home until Tuesday at the latest._ **

 

**_From Momther: Sorry for such short notice :(_ **

 

**_From Momther: Love you two so much!_ **

 

**_From HE’S AAANGRY: so we can throw a house party after the fb game tonight y/n_ **

 

**_From Momther: I think you already know the answer_ **

 

**_From HE’S AAANGRY: roger that mother_ **

 

Zoe grinned and texted back quickly.

 

**_To The Murphy Bunch: Have a nice trip! Tell gma I say hi! :))_ **

 

She went back to other messages and clicked on the next most recent conversation.

 

**_[1 new message from HE’S AAANGRY]_ **

 

**_From HE’S AAANGRY: so who are you inviting bc we have to invite everyone manually considering mom and dad have facebook so we cant just send invites there but i dont wanna double text ppl yknow_ **

 

**_To HE’S AAANGRY: How about you get Ev to text the football team, you text the cheer team, I can text ppl on track and in softball, and the outliers in our contacts, you take A-M and I take N-Z._ **

 

**_From HE’S AAANGRY: 1st or last name_ **

 

**_To HE’S AAANGRY: First !!!_ **

 

Zoe pocketed her phone and grabbed her bag before walking out of the dugout and down the street. Her house was within walking distance, but still a pain in the ass to get there. As she dragged her feet across the sidewalk she let her hair down from a ponytail just to tie it back up. Before she was even off school grounds, a green Toyota Corolla rolls up next to her. The window rolls down to reveal a familiar face in the driver seat. The driver was an old family friend, Jared Kleinman. 

 

“Do you need a ride?” Jared hollered out, popping his head out the window. He looked to be already in his marching band uniform. 

 

“No, it’s okay,” Zoe assured, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder. “I can walk. I’m just walking home.”

 

Jared looked at Zoe with furrowed eyebrows, squinted eyes, and a scrunched up nose. “You live two miles from here. Why would you deliberately walk two miles?”

 

Zoe shrugged and gave a weak smile, unknowing on how else to respond to the question. It didn’t take her long to realize there really wasn’t an answer to the question anyway.

 

“Come on, just hop in! I live right down the block from you. I need to run by my house and grab something. It’ll be on my way.”

 

Zoe hesitated for a moment, looked over her shoulder, then reluctantly trudged over to the passenger side of the car and slid into the seat. The car was the same temperature as it was outside. Hot and muggy. It didn’t help the fact that she was already sweating her ass off from practice. The air conditioning in the car must have not been working. That or Jared didn’t expect to be in the car long enough to feel the need to turn it on. She barely had a chance to buckle up before Jared’s foot was back on the gas. 

 

“Holy shit-!” Zoe muttered as the seat belt clicked. 

 

“Sorry, I need to get home ASAP. I need to be back at the school in only a couple of minutes,” Jared explained. Zoe nodded and leaning back in her seat, finally being able to rest her feet and relax to the best of her ability. She wiped the sweat off her face with the bottom of her shirt, showing obvious signs of needing to cool down. Jared must have noticed this rather quickly because he rolled his and her windows down halfway to let a breeze air its way through the car. Zoe sighed in relief as a thank you and leaned more towards the window and closed her eyes to feel the breeze against her face for a few seconds.

 

The radio was only loud enough to hear what song was playing. It sounded like an instrumental version of Shut Up and Dance by Walk The Moon. Zoe opened her eyes and reached for the dial, turning up the volume a few decimals. She heard a snort come from Jared. 

 

“Ironic that this song came on, huh?” Jared asked trailing off towards the end of the sentence, only being followed up by what was to be expected.

 

“How so?” Zoe questioned, a confused grin rising to her features.

 

Jared chewed on his lower lip, obviously trying to rack his mind for an excuse that wasn’t the real answer. From what Zoe remembered, Jared was always a great liar. When it came to a situation like this, it was a little harder to come up with a bullshit excuse on why it’s funny that this song came on when the both of them were in the car. Especially considering it’s a love song and Zoe didn’t like Jared or anything.

 

“I wish I could come up with a better excuse, but the truth is that the song was added to the playlist because a few of my friends just add songs that remind them of people and uh… I have a friend who put this song on here because it reminded them of you.” Jared looked over for a split second to make sure Zoe wasn’t freaked out or not buying it.

 

Zoe just nodded, not knowing what else to say that would dismiss the conversation. She couldn’t just let it go that easily. “Do I know them?”

 

“Oh yeah, you know her.” 

 

So they were a girl. The two of them fell silent for a few moments before Zoe just leaned over and turned the volume up louder to put a blanket over the awkward tension in the car. 

 

The song ended a couple minutes later, another song that Zoe recognized but didn’t know the name of followed. They only got halfway through that song before pulling up to Zoe’s house. Jared pulled over and turned the volume down.

 

“Thanks for the ride, Jared.” 

 

“Not a prob, Bob.”

 

Zoe grabbed her bag and slid out of the car. She waved before closing the door and turning to walk inside. She didn’t even have her hand on the doorknob before Jared had pulled out of the driveway and was speeding it down the street towards his house. She had a feeling that if he wasn’t in such a rush to get back to the school, he would have waited to make sure she had gotten inside before leaving.

 

A cool breeze from inside washed over her body. When she realized she was home alone, she let out a loud sigh of relief and trudged herself upstairs. She very dramatically dropped her bag on the floor of her room and immediately turned to walk towards the bathroom. She needed to wash off all the sweat. 

 

Only a few minutes ago she was fantasizing of a cold shower but now, that she was in all this air conditioning, she wanted nothing more than a hot, relaxing shower.

 

While she was in said shower she tried to focus on plans for the party, but her mind kept travelling back to the song that reminds someone of her. She didn’t know all of Jared’s friends. She hadn’t talked to him in so long to keep up with who he was still friends with, who he wasn’t. It made her question exactly why she lost touch with him to begin with.

 

She finally decided to wrap up her shower when she heard her phone binging and buzzing with multiple texts. She rinsed off, turned off the water, and stepped out. After drying of her hair and wrapping a towel around her body, she started walking back to her room while she read the missed messages. They were all from a group chat with her, Evan, and Connor.

 

**_[8 new messages from uhhhhh chicken nugget]_ **

 

**_From shoulder boy: are either of you at your house???_ **

 

**_From HE’S AAANGRY: im not sorry babe_ **

 

**_From shoulder boy: zoe zoe zoe please tell me you’re home!! I left my mouthguard in connor’s room, can you bring it down to the stadium?_ **

 

**_From HE’S AAANGRY: your mouthguard holy shit_ **

 

**_From shoulder boy: listen._ **

 

**_From HES AAANGRY: im listening_ **

 

**_From shoulder boy: aklsjfdmnwes zoe please what if my helmet comes off somehow and hits me in the mouth and I lose a tooth because I didn’t have my mouthguard and I look stupid??_ **

 

**_From HE’S AAANGRY: you would look cute w a missing tooth dw_ **

 

Zoe rolled her eyes and replied before getting dressed.

 

**_To uhhhhh chicken nugget: Don’t worry Ev, I can bring your mouthguard! It may take a while, I need to walk to the stadium._ **

 

The response was almost immediate.

 

**_From shoulder boy: zoe murphy, you are a lifesaver._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for slow content. school is starting soon and im finishing up a bunch of summer projects and travelling back and forth a lot for doctors appointments!! also marching band has started back up and that is taking a lot of my free time. i have already finished chapter 8 and i have also started 9 and 10 so those should be up before the end of the month.   
> chapter 10 is going to be pretty long to make up for the fact that these chapters have been so short and summarized. so chapter 10 will be over 3k words. from what i have already started writing of it (i have the beginnings written for almost every chapter) it is already 1k words and its only the start of it. i will try to have it out by next month or maybe even before the end of the this month!! thank you so much for all of the support you guys are giving me! it means the world and more! i love reading your comments even when i dont reply.  
> i will try to update soon!!! <3


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